Liberation as Spiritual Practice: Naiomi Gonzalez Interview (Safe Spiritual Spaces Interview Series)
Another installment in an interview series about what makes a safe/healthy spiritual space
Welcome back to the Safe Spiritual Spaces Interview Series, where we hear from writers, artists, therapists, clergy, practitioners, and other voices who do work at the intersections of spirituality, creativity, and justice. For each post in this series, I’ll ask our guests the same four questions, and they will share from their wisdom, experience, and research.
Today, we welcome Naiomi Gonzalez!
Tell us a little about your work…
My writing on Instagram and on Substack seeks to (1) challenge anti-queer, white supremacist, Christian nationalist forms of Christianity that are often presented as the only “true” form of Christianity and (2) let Christians, particularly those from marginalized groups, know that Christianity can be liberative and can advocate for a more just and equitable world. I am not so much interested in convincing non-Christians to become Christian. I believe we are each on our own journey and that whatever path we take—as long as it does not contribute to the oppression of others—is valid. But I am interested in reaching out to those who feel a nudge and desire to stay within Christianity but who do not want to stay within the narrow version often given the most media space and attention.
In your experience and/or research, what are some of the things that make a spiritual space safe?
Honesty and communication. Spiritual spaces need to be honest with themselves—and with the wider community that they want to reach—about what they can provide and their limitations. The reality is that spiritual spaces cannot and should not be everything to everyone. They need to be clear and honest about what they can offer. A common refrain heard, particularly in mainline and progressive spaces, is “all are welcome.” This is supposed to be in contrast to more fundamentalist/conservative Christian spaces, which tend to limit who will feel comfortable there. And I understand that impulse, but the reality is that it is impossible to truly welcome everyone. And we don’t necessarily want to. For instance, a spiritual community where a white supremacist feels welcome is probably not a space I want to inhabit.
Additionally, spiritual spaces are not necessarily equipped to handle various forms of trauma. Obviously, that doesn’t mean they should reject people who have religious trauma (of course not). But they need to be honest that they aren’t trauma-informed and/or that they aren’t therapists and to be clear about the type of services they can offer. Sometimes people just need a safe space to be in community, and religious spaces can offer that, but only if they are clear about what they can offer and don’t try to act like they can provide services that may be better handled by other experts.
In other words: boundaries are important. They need to be clear, and they need to be communicated. I’ll be honest. Based on my personal experiences, spiritual spaces are not always clear about maintaining boundaries. Boundaries are often viewed as rigid and as keeping people out. And in some cases, that is necessary, but more often than not, boundaries are not a weapon to be yielded. But rather, when communicated clearly and honestly, they can, in fact, lay the groundwork for trust and vulnerability.
Additionally, spiritual spaces, when they are clear about their purpose and those they are trying to reach, need to do their research. They need to do the hard work of learning what the people they are reaching out to need and figuring out what they can provide and when. If you want to provide a safe space for those healing from religious trauma, then you should probably figure out what that entails and what types of things people are looking for and also ensure that you aren’t going to unintentionally cause harm. And of course, if you do, then learn how to make amends and apologize.
What advice would you give to someone looking for a safe spiritual space after religious trauma?
First, don’t be in a hurry to figure out your path. Spirituality is a journey, and it may seem comforting to have the ending and journey figured out, saying things like: “I will always stay part of a specific faith tradition” or “I will never set foot inside this place again.” And both of those options are equally valid, and if a space has caused you significant harm, absolutely feel free to leave. However, there may be many occasions where you just don’t know if the space you are in is one you want to stay in or leave. And that’s okay. Be kind to yourself. Be willing to go on this spiritual journey and not know exactly where you will end up. Trust that you will know where you are supposed to be. And be okay with the fact that there may not be one singular path that you stay on for the rest of your life.
Second, remember that your healing journey should not come at the expense of marginalized groups. I will be blunt. I have been in too many predominantly white progressive/deconstruction spaces where Black and brown people are not treated well or even acknowledged. The focus is instead on catering to the fragility of the white participants. And I don’t want to diminish or downplay any of the religious trauma people in these predominantly white spaces have experienced, but I do want to name that Black and brown people are not here to be on the receiving end of your healing. Meaning, if we point out that your deconstruction process is actually harmful to us, then we should be taken seriously and not dismissed. For instance, with Jinger Duggar Vuolo and Jill Duggar Dillard, queer people and people of color have pointed out how some of the theological beliefs they maintain or the churches they choose to attend are harmful. And often the response from white deconstructionists is, “Give them time. They need time to heal.” Yes, they do. And it’s still okay to point out that their current theological beliefs are causing harm. Again, marginalized groups are not here to quietly accept harm in the name of your healing.
Anything else you’d like to share about this topic or your current projects?
Check out my devotional series I have written for Our Bible App. One is entitled, Healing from Toxic Theology and the other Folklore: A Taylor Swift Inspired Hope.
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Please join me in thanking Naiomi for their words and wisdom. And you should definitely go check out all the other resources Naiomi shared here today!
May we all work toward liberation together, in whatever spaces we inhabit!
In Wonder,
Kandi Zeller (she/her)
So many beauties in here. The need to learn to apologize and make amends. The need to clearly state your intentions and limitations. The need for clear boundaries and good practices for maintaining them. So much good stuff to think about, work with! And this: “a spiritual community where a white supremacist feels welcome is probably not a space I want to inhabit…” The need to really state exactly who you are for, which has the unexpected outcome usually of inviting in *more* people who feel safe there, than a generic “this is for everyone!” blanket statement. Beautiful. 👏👯🕊️
Thank you, Naomi. Such a clear, wise piece.