Remembering as Spiritual Practice: Prides through the Years
A journey of five Prides . . .
In 2022, I went to my first Pride. I was scared of anyone finding out. I wasn’t even out yet—either as affirming or as a queer human myself. I only had one semi-rainbow crop top, and I placed my St. Francis medal necklace like a familiar hug around my neck. Quietly, I encountered this fun festival, pleasantly surprised by all the art and joy. I felt at home.
In 2023, so much had changed in the year since my first Pride. I was out to a select few, and my best friend Jenn took me to my second festival. I wore rainbow butterfly hair clips and Pride flag earrings that I made myself. I had so much fun walking around and saying, “Happy Pride!” as a newly-out queer. I returned home covered in stickers and necklaces . . . and basking in joy.
In 2024, I went to Pride with Jenn again. It had been an exceptionally difficult year since the last Pride. Being out had had its consequences. Even still, friend by my side, I walked confidently past the angry protesters screaming out-of-context verses at me (a consummate Bible nerd and former pastor). Also, I held another thing in my heart that day: I was dating women for the first time. I wore a lavender flower crown I made to celebrate being the lavender menace I’d always been.
In 2025, I came to Pride with my partner Arie. We were going through so much, but we also loved each other so much. We had a wonderful time wearing our matching necklaces we bought for each other earlier that year. It was an act of resistance in the face of Project 2025.
In 2026, in some ways, every day in my life is Pride. While being out as queer and affirming is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, I wouldn’t take it back.
I’m grateful for my queer ancestors and all the ways they fought for my rights.
I’m grateful for all the amazing people who have stayed and come into my life since I’ve been out.
I pray that I can be the kind of ancestor my forebears were, shining a rainbow prism of love wherever I walk.
All I know is that the queer community and its allies have shown me the magickal care that I describe as a divine and spiritual.
I think Julian of Norwich was right: Love does hold up the universe. Amen and Amen.
In Wonder and Resistance,
Ivy Zeller (she/they)
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Happy Pride, friend! 💜