Swearing as Spiritual Practice: Resisting through Strong Language
Strong language can help us resist.
TW: Negative self-talk
“That’s bullshit.” I remember the first time my husband uttered that second word. We had both grown up believing that swearing of any kind was strictly off-limits for spiritual people. With all due respect to our younger selves, we were wrong.
Our journey of deconstructing language began in college. I was an English major, and he was a journalism major. Our work was to study language, and we both were unraveling what it means to use language—to engage in the conversation about, well, conversation.
A quick note: When I say swearing, I am not referring to slurs, which I believe are unacceptable to use unless you are from the targeted marginalized group itself and are reclaiming the word. Here’s what I do include in the idea of swearing:
strong words having to do with bodily fluids and activities, which is definitely something we see in the Bible
strong words from faith, like damn and hell, which I think are effective words to communicate when a situation feels like something a just God would have words about, in the vein of imprecatory psalms
As for using iterations of God’s name, I realize this is a complex issue and people have different convictions about the matter, but one important perspective is that the third commandment likely refers to something far more expansive than (and possibly not even touching on) the idea of a phrase like “oh my god.”
Like all strong language, context is key and, in my view, the use of strong words is analogous to strong spices—best used with skill, knowledge of their properties, intention, and an undercurrent of love for neighbor, which means that, depending on the situation, strong language could even rightly be used frequently, especially when directed at a fundamentally unjust system. That may also mean not using strong language where the use of such strong language would exclude others. (For Christians, this article does a good job of getting into the complexities of this gray area.)
So in the case of my husband in the story above, saying bullshit was in response to a toxic belief I still held about myself. I had said that I wasn’t worthy of dignity as a human being, and Kevin had replied that that idea was bullshit. This quickly caught on, and now, several years later, we still use swearing regularly in our house to communicate when something is unjust or toxic.
I’ll conclude with this. Whether you use or don’t use strong language, know that you have an opportunity to resist injustice and love others (and yourself) through your words. You can interrupt injustice simply by speaking and by knowing the context you’re in and the history of the words you choose to use. In this way, we can all engage in the spiritual practice of language.
In Wonder,
Kandi Zeller (She/Her)
Instagram: @kandi.zeller
Fiction: Reedsy Blog
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kandizeller/
I could never have imagined myself to be a swearing person when I was young but now I enjoy it! I like tasteful swearing with purpose 😅
I swear all day long and never get tired of it.