Ugh. Communion was such a fraught experience growing up! I always wondered “ok do I feel bad/guilty enough [about my childish sins!] to warrant me taking communion? Have a sufficiently reflected in my sinfulness before daring to ingest this nasty little wafer?” Open communion is a really lovely thing, though sometimes can still bring up some of the old icky feelings!
Kandi, your inclusiveness is touching and wonderful. I remember worrying about communion too--the difference being I was an adult so probably not as terrified as you were at 7 years old. I eventually was able to let go of my worry over that scripture but there were so many others--like the “unforgivable sin” for example. Scrupulosity is a serious problem in Christianity, and probably much more common than we know. If I were to summarize why I cannot be a Christian after decades of trying, it comes down to that--it arouses far too much shame, guilt, and worry even over simple things like taking a communion meal in Jesus’s honor. I need spirituality that uplifts me, not that terrorizes me.
I’m so sorry for your physical pain. I hope it has subsided now.
Lastly, cinnamon roles are my favorite breakfast too--with loads of cinnamon and thick gooey icing!!
I’m sorry you experienced that. And woe to that minister for sharing such a manipulative story!!! My youngest uses a wheelchair and it’s so unfortunate how many communion rails are inaccessible to people with mobility challenges.
And I’m so glad you have a treat you can enjoy even when you’re in a flare. I love cinnamon rolls too!!
Ugh. Communion was such a fraught experience growing up! I always wondered “ok do I feel bad/guilty enough [about my childish sins!] to warrant me taking communion? Have a sufficiently reflected in my sinfulness before daring to ingest this nasty little wafer?” Open communion is a really lovely thing, though sometimes can still bring up some of the old icky feelings!
Kandi, your inclusiveness is touching and wonderful. I remember worrying about communion too--the difference being I was an adult so probably not as terrified as you were at 7 years old. I eventually was able to let go of my worry over that scripture but there were so many others--like the “unforgivable sin” for example. Scrupulosity is a serious problem in Christianity, and probably much more common than we know. If I were to summarize why I cannot be a Christian after decades of trying, it comes down to that--it arouses far too much shame, guilt, and worry even over simple things like taking a communion meal in Jesus’s honor. I need spirituality that uplifts me, not that terrorizes me.
I’m so sorry for your physical pain. I hope it has subsided now.
Lastly, cinnamon roles are my favorite breakfast too--with loads of cinnamon and thick gooey icing!!
I’m sorry you experienced that. And woe to that minister for sharing such a manipulative story!!! My youngest uses a wheelchair and it’s so unfortunate how many communion rails are inaccessible to people with mobility challenges.
And I’m so glad you have a treat you can enjoy even when you’re in a flare. I love cinnamon rolls too!!