Queerness as Spiritual Practice: Some Updates

Of lesbianism and love...

Well, hello again! And gods, does this exvangelical have some updates…

I’m emerging from my winter hibernation, some energizing pitch witch sessions¹ with authors, and with the courage and motivation to share some changes and write up a storm of content for the coming weeks, as I look with hope to the future.

Now, about those updates. I have alluded to this publicly in various venues, but my queer labels have shifted. After a hell of year that included a lot of soul searching, therapy, and learning, I realized two things: (1) I am a lesbian (not bi), and (2) I am a genderqueer demigirl and my pronouns are she/they. And related to point # 1: with joy, I shared that I am sapphically partnered and have been for quite a while. Due to privacy concerns, at this time, I’m sharing what I call my “anonymous lesbian photodump” with all you dear readers, with more details to come as it seems fit.

A quietly lesbian photodump of adventures, boots, flags, and my stepdoggo

Thanks for celebrating with me, dear readers. I’ve been on this journey with you all for two whole years now, and every day, I’m grateful for you and all the community and found family that surrounds me. My heart is full of hope and joy. And more than ever before, I have a sense of spiritual,² magical³ inner peace—I am myself. Cheers to all of our continued healing!

I can’t wait to write more about all the beauty I’ve seen over the last year and in the days, weeks, and months to come.

I call this one “Figuring Myself Out”

In Wonder,

Kandi Zeller (she/they)

1. Learn more here.

2. When I describe or experience any tool/practices as spiritual, I want to acknowledge that that is not everyone’s experience. Any practice/tool I share is meant for all, regardless of spiritual label (or lack of label) or whether you experience these tools as spiritual or as some other adjective(s). Labels, while helpful in describing our experiences, are ultimately insufficient, so I want to hold space for that tension here. Also, my understanding of how god expresses godself is expansive. Basically, I conceive of spirituality as our experience with divine love and connection. But even that feels a little religious-y. Put another way, I believe spirituality is the place where we as individuals and communities connect with the “force of love that holds up the universe” (in words sometimes attributed to Julian of Norwich), whether we conceive of that love as divine or as the love shared between fellow humans/other creatures or some combination of both loves. It is the place within our bodies and our communities where we find love and connection with all who have come before and who will come after.

3. I love the definition of magick laid out in this article: “action taken to bring about internal transformation or external change.”