Film as Spiritual Practice: How Ella Enchanted (2004) Helped Me Find Autonomy
Celebrating the birthday of this twenty-year-old classic...
TW: religious trauma
Maybe it was the fairy-tale setting. Or the way this campy romp perfectly expressed the 00s-does-70s whimsigothic aesthetic—in its set, soundtrack, writing, and costume design. Whatever it was, this 2004 film1 was a perfect, magical combination for my eight-year-old self, and I rented it from Family Video as often as I could.
But this movie wasn’t just fun for me. As I grew into adulthood, I realized this film was also something of a portal to finding my own autonomy in the ocean of divine2 love and community—even while dwelling within a religiously traumatic set of systems, norms, and institutions.3
What I love about this goofy movie is the way it moves Ella, the titular main character, through a freedom-finding, healing journey.
As a baby, Ella is cursed with the gift of unflinching obedience to any authority (and really any voice) in her life—leading her to experience much abuse, even as she actively fights against systemic injustices in her world.
This story is about how Ella escapes that abusive situation, sets her own boundaries, and discovers the communities and passions that bring her a sense of joy and safety, empowering her to participate in making a tremendous impact in resisting unjust systems.
In a word, this film is about autonomy.
And for me? It’s specifically served as a metaphor for finding autonomy after religious trauma. If you’d like to learn just how applicable this message is to religious trauma survivors, I recommend Krispin and D.L. Mayfield’s STRONGWILLED.4
Related to the religious trauma journey, then, two scenes from this film stick out to me.
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The first scene is early in Ella’s freedom journey. Along the way, she ends up crashing a wedding with two new friends. Though they don’t yet know about Ella’s curse, these new friends have their own stories of abuse and are thus kind to her.
The wedding itself happens among giants, a marginalized group in the kingdom Ella inhabits. And the giants are quick to accept her.
So much so that, at the reception, the giants invite her to sing. Of course, Ella’s obedience curse turns that invitation into a command (though the giants don’t realize this).
Because this is a jukebox musical, Ella selects Queen’s “Somebody to Love,” and as the song progresses, she expresses herself with more and more freedom and authenticity.
The kind characters surrounding her encourage at every step of the song, only offering suggestions based on the ways Ella is already starting to express herself (“Give it a little more soul!” or “Dance!”). Ella hasn’t yet found her voice (and is thus not able to say no to their suggestions yet), but she has found the beginnings of a safe and supportive community. In this scene, Ella experiences joy (and dance) as resistance.5
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The second scene of note here is the climax of the film, so SPOILER ALERT.
Ella’s obedience curse has been discovered by a wannabe and power-hungry dictator6 who wants Ella’s love interest, Prince Char, dead.
And so the powerful villain commands Ella to plunge a dagger into Char’s back at the strike of midnight.
In this critical moment in her life, it takes everything in Ella to fight her obedience curse—including remembering and calling on the love of all who have been supportive on her journey. By resting in that love within herself, she is empowered to drop the dagger and scream, “You will no longer be obedient!”
To chose love over obedience. To reclaim her bodily autonomy.
And thus, the curse is broken…and so begins a road of healing.7
And so, as you can imagine, when I, as a young child, first watched this scene (which you can watch below), my breath caught with Ella’s.
By the systems that surrounded me, I had been told immediate obedience wasn’t a curse…but the desired outcome.
But my little gut knew better.
And many years later, I would drop my own metaphorical dagger—that weapon of uncritical obedience—on the floor too. Leaving evangelicalism allowed me to break the spell of a frozen nervous system, fawning to survive and encouraging me to go against my gut to support policies and ideas that only seemed to hurt myself and others—from purity culture to RAP books to so many other forms of christofascism8 (which I believe to be the most idolatrous and dangerous movement within the church).
But the freedom I found in autonomy? It could only be described as perfect love casting out fear. For the first time, following Jesus did not include cognitive dissonance for me. I could love my neighbor—and myself—without exception and with a holy honoring of all our individual autonomies.
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As you can see, Ella Enchanted was an early influence in my life that normalized giving and asking for consent, interrupting unjust systems, and finding loving and supportive community/ancestors to call upon.
I love that—as a little, neurodivergent, religiously traumatized, and queer girl—I heard the love in this story and connected to the music (including stuff from bicon, Freddie Mercury), linking me in some way to ancestors that could help.
If that’s not spiritual,9 if that’s not magickal,10 if that’s not liberation, I don’t know what is.
In Wonder,
Kandi Zeller (she/her)
P.S. LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS: What films imbued autonomy (or other important values to you) into your journey?
I didn’t know there was a book until a few years after watching the movie, and I honestly love both versions. I view the book and the movie as two separate universes of the same basic story. Twice the fun!
My understanding of how God expresses Godself is expansive. Basically, I conceive of spirituality as our experience with divine love and connection. But even that feels a little religious-y. Put another way, I believe spirituality is the place where we as individuals and communities connect with the “force of love that holds up the universe” (in words sometimes attributed to Julian of Norwich), whether we conceive of that love as divine or as the love shared between fellow humans/other creatures or some combination of both loves. It is the place within our bodies and our communities where we find love and connection with all who have come before and who will come after.
I’ve written about this a lot, but if this conversation is new to you, I wrote a “start-here” type post at D.L. Mayfield’s Healing is My Special Interest, which you can find here.
Of particular note here is STRONGWILLED’s second chapter, “Under Pressure.” I’ve been honored to be a part of the editorial team for this project, but I’ve also found STRONGWILLED to be very resonate with my own experiences with religious trauma, and I know I’m not alone on that front.
No parallels to the themes in STRONGWILLED at all, LOL. ;)
This includes having to repair her relationship with Char for the harm she was coerced/framed into attempting. If that’s not some deconstruction realness, I don’t know what is.
If you’re not familiar with the term christofascism, it’s “the blending of authoritarianism and oneself’s interpretation and practice of evangelical Christianity.” As a Christian myself, I consider christofascism to be a form of idolatry: it gets in the way of truly loving God and neighbor (Matthew 22:38-40).
When I describe or experience any tool/practices as spiritual, I want to acknowledge that that is not everyone’s experience. Any practice/tool I share is meant for all, regardless of spiritual label (or lack of label) or whether you experience these tools as spiritual or as some other adjective(s). Labels, while helpful in describing our experiences, are ultimately insufficient, so I want to hold space for that tension here.
I love the definition of magick laid out in this article: “action taken to bring about internal transformation or external change.”
I connected to the book years before I found the movie, but also love them both as two separate (but very similar) stories. Ella has always been very important to me, but, although I usually overanalyze everything, I'd never really thought through why this one resonated so much. Thanks for the words!
Here's to freedom!! Nice writing, Kandi!!