Nervous System Regulation as Spiritual Practice: 7 Tools to Fight Fascism

When we take care of ourselves, we care for others ...

Remember the Golden Rule? As an exvangelical, I certainly do. It’s a cruel irony: Jesus’s words about self-love in community being used to bludgeon people into ignoring their needs for the sake of the church. Jesus said:

“ ‘Love the LORD your God¹ with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.’ ” (Matthew 22:37-40, NIV)

Simply put, loving ourselves and loving each other is the whole fucking point.

But we can’t help each other if we haven’t first cared for ourselves.

As a person with PTSD, I’m no stranger to the fight-or-flight response. And as a person with AuDHD, I’m no stranger to the fact that my body just gets overwhelmed and overstimulated so easily. When I’m in these states, it’s hard to connect with others—to care for them and myself—because my body is focusing all of its energy on keeping me safe.

Obviously, staying in this state long-term is not the most adaptive strategy, so along my journey, I’ve found a number of tools that can help regulate my nervous system.

Therefore, almost two years(!) ago, I wrote about 6 tools I loved using for nervous system regulation. It was the post that introduced me to many of you dear readers.²

While I still love all those tools, much has changed in my life since then.

• I wrote a witchcraft book, which alludes to my Christian roots but is primarily secular.

• I fully deconverted from christofascism.

• I grew my editing business to specialize in deconversion/deconstruction, witchcraft, queer, DIY, therapy, and sex ed content.

• I came out as a lesbian and a genderqueer person.

• I lost housing and community over these changes, but I also have found family that walked with me through those changes and others who joined during the process.

And in that two years, much has also changed in the world.

We’re facing a fever-pitch of fascism as a global community.

Resisting must be sustainable if we’re going to be effective. Otherwise, we’re playing into to the same ableist expectations that capitalism and fascism want.³

So let’s talk about some tools that I’ve found helpful and resist together….

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DISCLAIMER: I am not a therapist. When looking into nervous system regulation tools for yourself, I would always recommend talking with a licensed therapist. Along those same lines, if a practice/tool shared in this post sounds like it wouldn’t be a good fit for you, don’t do it. This is your body, your spirituality, your choice. I firmly believe that honoring your body is central to spirituality of any kind. In this post, I’m simply sharing what’s worked for my own nervous system, and I encourage you to listen to your own body throughout reading this post and as you consider what nervous system regulation might look like for you.

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Dark Comedy Naps

When I have no spoons and the world feels heavy and overstimulating, there’s something about listening to a comedy special to go to sleep. It’s nice to slumber to the sounds of being surrounded by other humans dealing with the hard realities of injustice while laughing together to resist. Bonus points: if the comedy special is a musical.

Not comedy per se, but our fridge magnets definitely capture the vibe of what I like to listen to during my dark comedy naps. (Pride flag one was a gift, and the other two magnets are from Transfigure Print Co.)

Weighted Dragon

Weighted blankets are wonderful. But have you tried a weighted dragon? I love this cuddly cutie that I found at TJ Maxx. I have since found a smaller company that makes lots of these weighted creatures. Give me all the nuerodivergent being-squished sensations!

Squishable Forest Demon

I love macabre stuffies, and my favorites are from Squishables. Here, I’m pictured with my favorite plushie, a forest demon.⁴

A (demi)girl and her cryptid. I named this creature Forrest, because, well, forest demon…and because Forrest Valkai is a national treasure. (See also the IKEA Blahaj—pictured on the bed behind me—if marine life is more of your cozy cup of tea. A shoutout to transfemmes and their adoption of this shark plushie as an icon of queerness.)

Atmospheric Historical Series

For me, there’s something comforting and invigorating about stepping into the world of activism in the 60s, 70s, and 80s. I’ve loved FX’s Mrs. America since 2020, and I’ve finally started Mad Men and find it oddly regulating. I think it’s because I know my queer ancestors faced a harder world than I do, and that their love is what has given me my rights and my ability to exist publicly. These shows feel like a hug and a nudge from the past: “Keep resisting, daughter-queer.”

(Weirdly, this also works with one-off comedy movies from the 2000s, like Cheaper by the Dozen, which are technically historical now because I am not a kid anymore, LOL.)

Vintage 70s-inspired outfit. Pants are modern; top is from the 70s.

Nostalgic Girlhood Content

By consuming video essays on this theme, I’ve found that reflecting on aesthetic things from the past—little moments of wonder that made me me—has been so integrative. I was a late 90s/early-to-mid 2000s kid. From American Girl dolls to Barbie to Bath & Body Works to highly niche games, I’ve been enjoying the nostalgic deep dives of Safiya Nygaard, Madi Hearts, MaryLoveMew, Kate Steinberg, Jenna Barclay, Beauty Inside a Box, Dream Jelly, and STRANGEAEONS—just to name a few.

A thrift find that really captures the unhinged whimsy that exploded in the 90s and 2000s.

Listening to Loud Music

Mammoth Weed Wizard Bastard, anyone? The Arcane series soundtrack? Listening to a Boston record with my girlfriend? A ska concert with a beloved? My lesbian heart! (No really. These things buzz my whole body, and I feel the belonging of music in my chest. It’s exactly the overstim I need.)

A collection of records in our home

Dance

Yep, this one’s still on here from last time. Whether it’s interpretive, pole, Zumba, club/concert, or Just Dance!, moving my body is a dramatic way I express my emotions and regulate my body when words/thoughts fail.

Two of my greatest dancing shoes

In short, these things connect me to my body and prepare me to engage adaptively within my community, and if that’s not spiritual,⁵ not divine,⁶ not magickal,⁷ I don’t know what is.

P. S. What practices/tools (spiritual or otherwise) do you use for nervous system regulation?

In Wonder,

Kandi Zeller (she/they)

1. My understanding of how god expresses godself is expansive. Basically, I conceive of spirituality as our experience with divine love and connection. But even that feels a little religious-y. Put another way, I believe spirituality is the place where we as individuals and communities connect with the “force of love that holds up the universe” (in words sometimes attributed to Julian of Norwich), whether we conceive of that love as divine or as the love shared between fellow humans/other creatures or some combination of both loves. It is the place within our bodies and our communities where we find love and connection with all who have come before and who will come after.

2. Thank you to D.L. Mayfield at Healing is My Special Interest for giving me a major boost in readers because of this topic and for all their work on healing as a tool for anti-fascism.

3. I wrote a whole book about all this.

4. Particularly beloved by me due to my fascination with the intersections of monster myth and moral panics.

5. When I describe or experience any tool/practices as spiritual, I want to acknowledge that that is not everyone’s experience. Any practice/tool I share is meant for all, regardless of spiritual label (or lack of label) or whether you experience these tools as spiritual or as some other adjective(s). Labels, while helpful in describing our experiences, are ultimately insufficient, so I want to hold space for that tension here.

6. See footnote 1.

7. I love the definition of magick laid out in this article: “action taken to bring about internal transformation or external change.”